dilvahabilyeha
07-20 10:11 AM
He did not voted
Absent! mean 'NAY', that's what earlier post says to me!
Absent! mean 'NAY', that's what earlier post says to me!
wallpaper 2010 Audi Q7 Car Wallpaper
petepatel
09-12 03:50 PM
I m in :)
RandyK
07-05 01:54 PM
:d
2011 Audi Q7 2011 - Car Wallpapers
Libra
09-29 12:04 PM
only option is they can hire some people to process application on temp basis.
and the last recapture was a bill that was passed in congress.
efforts are on for a recapture. but the valid question raised is: how does a recapture help when USCIS can't even process 140,000 a year?
and the last recapture was a bill that was passed in congress.
efforts are on for a recapture. but the valid question raised is: how does a recapture help when USCIS can't even process 140,000 a year?
more...
kumarr
12-26 02:19 PM
I just had my I-140 approved few days ago. I applied concurrently during July fiasco to NSC.
My online status says: Approval Notice Sent.
I guess that means my I140 is approved.
I am EB3 - India.
My online status says: Approval Notice Sent.
I guess that means my I140 is approved.
I am EB3 - India.
priti8888
07-23 03:32 PM
Wow! Good for you! So when did you apply for your I-485? Please let us know the details so we can compare it with our situation. My husband is EB3 as well with PD Feb 2005 (Philippines). Thanks!
my PD Aug 2004
RD Feb 2005
eb3 india
Last fingerprint in March 2007
my PD Aug 2004
RD Feb 2005
eb3 india
Last fingerprint in March 2007
more...
eb3_nepa
07-14 10:18 PM
Running total so far $608
Good work. Let keep rolling.
Hi gsc999,
Any chance we can put this on the IV homepage itself? If this campaign has to succeed, it needs a 100% of the members to contribute, else the results will be extremely sorry.
Good work. Let keep rolling.
Hi gsc999,
Any chance we can put this on the IV homepage itself? If this campaign has to succeed, it needs a 100% of the members to contribute, else the results will be extremely sorry.
2010 2011 Audi Q7 Car Reviews
akr_roy
09-09 06:46 PM
Withiin 2 hours of posting this message, late in the night we have got 8 people contributing $100 each. Thanks for the spirit. I am sure with everyone's help we will reach our target sooner and can easily commit our resources for the rally.
Hello All,
My prayers be with IV. Though I cant attend, I would want to make a contribution of $200 for the rally. Can somebody let me know an easy way to make this payment please? I dont have a paypal, googlr acct.
Thanks
regards
arghya
:)
Hello All,
My prayers be with IV. Though I cant attend, I would want to make a contribution of $200 for the rally. Can somebody let me know an easy way to make this payment please? I dont have a paypal, googlr acct.
Thanks
regards
arghya
:)
more...
xyzgc
02-08 01:50 PM
Hi,
I been a member of IV for a long time and just to keep myself anonymous for a while I created this account. I am so sorry for opening a thread in a completely irrelevant forum but I have no idea what to do. So, I request all the members to please help me by providing some kind of information.
Here is my story:
I came to US in 2002 and completed masters and been working since then. I got married couple of years ago. Whatever the monetary gifts the girls parents gave as part of the marriage, I put all that in an account on the girls name within 2 days of the marriage. We came to India and from then on the problems started. She and her parents want me to separate from my parents and support their family by sending money to their parents which I couldn't do. How can I leave my parents in their old age when they worked very hard to give a decent life. She has been harassing me mentally for this all the time. Recently her parents have been threatening me saying they will file dowry case in India if I don't send money or cut myself off from my parents. I provided for the girl in all possible ways, even encouraged her to join school to get a masters degree which she stopped soon. We had a baby recently and my parents visited us to help us with the baby. She started harassing them too by saying something or other.
I am very frustrated at this situation and I don't know what to do. I am on H1B and applied for 485 too. At times I feel like applying for divorce but when I think about my little baby I am not able to take that step. The house we currently live in, I bought long before the marriage. It came to a situation where we cannot live together. I cannot ask her to go out of the house because she doesn't have anywhere to go and with the baby even if she leaves, it will be very tough. I said I will leave the house and stay in a apartment for which she threatens to commit suicide. So, I don't know what to do. I am worried about my baby because between all this my baby's life will be spoiled and I don't want that. Can anyone please tell me what I can do in this matter?
Thank you very much for taking time to read this.
When you hear incidents like this, its always like "girls are too much". On the contrary, when we hear of wives being beaten up by "educated husbands" boys are too much. This is all silly really.
I have heard some indian females complaining all the time how males tend to dominate everywhere its not really true. In a relationship, anyone could be a dominant partner - male or female. Dominance also means responsibility and taking initiative. So its not all that bad. And it is certainly not a male prerogative!!
Your case is a clear case of "external interference". Divorce is not a solution to cases like these. Its not like you are not getting along. You relationship is spoiled due to unwanted interference. Convince your wife that you and her always come first. You cannot make your parents happy at the cost of displeasing her and also the other way round.
Stop trying to diplomatic and stop being a family-pleaser. If you don't like something, say it clear and upfront rather than pussy footing around it. I found that diplomacy does not work at all. It only sends wrong signals and eventually you end up putting a firm foot down, anyways.
Get rid of the elders from your life. It means don't allow parents/siblings from either sides to interfere at all in any decision making. Get the inputs but make it clear its a joint decision made by husband-wife and they have no say in it. Don't allow your parents/in-laws to stay with you more than bare minimum necessary for the new-born.
If it means making some career sacrifices, so be it. Its your baby and you need to take care of it finally.
Retrospect - analyze what has gone wrong. Today, you find your wife is all wrong and you are all right but when you do the retrospect you'll find its not like that, in fact its never like that. Humans make mistakes and we must accept that.
Stop sending money to parents and in-laws, if its possible. Otherwise, maintain parity by sending money in small amounts to both parents. Its stupid to say my wife is not working so she has no business to send money to her parents. Its so wrong and I'm surprised folks can think like this. Marriage is about sharing and even a child will tell you that. If the in-laws are any sensible they won't accept gifts from the son-in-law but its for them to decide.And stop receiving any gifts from either sides.
If you are in the US, don't go to your home country unless its an absolute must. I found that every time I go there family and relatives end up giving tons of unsolicited advice. The intentions are good but I have to keep saying no (diplomacy doesn't work at all) and that gets very annoying eventually.
Finally, if you have a career oriented working wife there are advantages to it. Its better to work instead of being a hopeless housewife.
Yes, it also means you can't take things for granted but that's no reason you should end up with a sweet, traditional house wife who'll no longer be that way when hopelessness sets in.
I been a member of IV for a long time and just to keep myself anonymous for a while I created this account. I am so sorry for opening a thread in a completely irrelevant forum but I have no idea what to do. So, I request all the members to please help me by providing some kind of information.
Here is my story:
I came to US in 2002 and completed masters and been working since then. I got married couple of years ago. Whatever the monetary gifts the girls parents gave as part of the marriage, I put all that in an account on the girls name within 2 days of the marriage. We came to India and from then on the problems started. She and her parents want me to separate from my parents and support their family by sending money to their parents which I couldn't do. How can I leave my parents in their old age when they worked very hard to give a decent life. She has been harassing me mentally for this all the time. Recently her parents have been threatening me saying they will file dowry case in India if I don't send money or cut myself off from my parents. I provided for the girl in all possible ways, even encouraged her to join school to get a masters degree which she stopped soon. We had a baby recently and my parents visited us to help us with the baby. She started harassing them too by saying something or other.
I am very frustrated at this situation and I don't know what to do. I am on H1B and applied for 485 too. At times I feel like applying for divorce but when I think about my little baby I am not able to take that step. The house we currently live in, I bought long before the marriage. It came to a situation where we cannot live together. I cannot ask her to go out of the house because she doesn't have anywhere to go and with the baby even if she leaves, it will be very tough. I said I will leave the house and stay in a apartment for which she threatens to commit suicide. So, I don't know what to do. I am worried about my baby because between all this my baby's life will be spoiled and I don't want that. Can anyone please tell me what I can do in this matter?
Thank you very much for taking time to read this.
When you hear incidents like this, its always like "girls are too much". On the contrary, when we hear of wives being beaten up by "educated husbands" boys are too much. This is all silly really.
I have heard some indian females complaining all the time how males tend to dominate everywhere its not really true. In a relationship, anyone could be a dominant partner - male or female. Dominance also means responsibility and taking initiative. So its not all that bad. And it is certainly not a male prerogative!!
Your case is a clear case of "external interference". Divorce is not a solution to cases like these. Its not like you are not getting along. You relationship is spoiled due to unwanted interference. Convince your wife that you and her always come first. You cannot make your parents happy at the cost of displeasing her and also the other way round.
Stop trying to diplomatic and stop being a family-pleaser. If you don't like something, say it clear and upfront rather than pussy footing around it. I found that diplomacy does not work at all. It only sends wrong signals and eventually you end up putting a firm foot down, anyways.
Get rid of the elders from your life. It means don't allow parents/siblings from either sides to interfere at all in any decision making. Get the inputs but make it clear its a joint decision made by husband-wife and they have no say in it. Don't allow your parents/in-laws to stay with you more than bare minimum necessary for the new-born.
If it means making some career sacrifices, so be it. Its your baby and you need to take care of it finally.
Retrospect - analyze what has gone wrong. Today, you find your wife is all wrong and you are all right but when you do the retrospect you'll find its not like that, in fact its never like that. Humans make mistakes and we must accept that.
Stop sending money to parents and in-laws, if its possible. Otherwise, maintain parity by sending money in small amounts to both parents. Its stupid to say my wife is not working so she has no business to send money to her parents. Its so wrong and I'm surprised folks can think like this. Marriage is about sharing and even a child will tell you that. If the in-laws are any sensible they won't accept gifts from the son-in-law but its for them to decide.And stop receiving any gifts from either sides.
If you are in the US, don't go to your home country unless its an absolute must. I found that every time I go there family and relatives end up giving tons of unsolicited advice. The intentions are good but I have to keep saying no (diplomacy doesn't work at all) and that gets very annoying eventually.
Finally, if you have a career oriented working wife there are advantages to it. Its better to work instead of being a hopeless housewife.
Yes, it also means you can't take things for granted but that's no reason you should end up with a sweet, traditional house wife who'll no longer be that way when hopelessness sets in.
hair Audi Q7 New Car Auto Wallpaper
gctest
09-13 09:56 PM
are bhagwan... kash maine substitue labor use kiya hota....
I would have been approved by then...
Been here since 1996 and have a doctorate .. but still in EB2.. and i don't regret it .... but i don't want anymore line jumping for sure.
Delete this moron's login.. I bet he has a substitute eb2 labor himself - talk about morality
- $ 50 monthly to IV since June 2006
I would have been approved by then...
Been here since 1996 and have a doctorate .. but still in EB2.. and i don't regret it .... but i don't want anymore line jumping for sure.
Delete this moron's login.. I bet he has a substitute eb2 labor himself - talk about morality
- $ 50 monthly to IV since June 2006
more...
svm
07-18 03:47 PM
Thanks for the reply!
hot 2011 Audi Q7 Wallpaper.
485_se_dukhi
07-18 08:36 PM
I just came to know about this site on July 11.
Liked the idea about sending flowers and immediately send one basket of flowers to Mr Emilio for July 12 delivery along with a get well soon card.:) Also send letters to local congressmen etc.
After this amazingly delightful news yesterday, I gave $200 to IV..and as mentioned earlier have set up a $50/m recurring deposit just now.
For all those who have still not contributed...
What in the world are you waiting for??
Lightening to strike?? Permission from your local anti immigrant bunch??
Isn't this sufficient to let you know that IV core and other senior members of their team are ABSOLUTELY COMMITTED to our cause??
Do you want another VB fiasco to happen?? Are you going to wait till our 485's are stuck for 2-3 years and then again come to this forum for answers??
Please, please go ahead and contribute....
Liked the idea about sending flowers and immediately send one basket of flowers to Mr Emilio for July 12 delivery along with a get well soon card.:) Also send letters to local congressmen etc.
After this amazingly delightful news yesterday, I gave $200 to IV..and as mentioned earlier have set up a $50/m recurring deposit just now.
For all those who have still not contributed...
What in the world are you waiting for??
Lightening to strike?? Permission from your local anti immigrant bunch??
Isn't this sufficient to let you know that IV core and other senior members of their team are ABSOLUTELY COMMITTED to our cause??
Do you want another VB fiasco to happen?? Are you going to wait till our 485's are stuck for 2-3 years and then again come to this forum for answers??
Please, please go ahead and contribute....
more...
house 2011 Audi Q7 Wallpapers
eager_immi
07-22 12:51 PM
i seriously doubt uscis will be slow in ead applications atleast not more than 6 mths. Reason:
1. there will be 500,000 applicants that will become out of status and uscis will be in news again
2. it helps them to get the $340 from you forever
So they will hire contractors to issues this.
1. there will be 500,000 applicants that will become out of status and uscis will be in news again
2. it helps them to get the $340 from you forever
So they will hire contractors to issues this.
tattoo 2011 Audi Q7 Wallpaper.
pappu
09-14 06:37 PM
DO NOT POST MEDIA LEADS ON THE FORUM PLEASE.
This is a request to every member working very hard in the media campaign and state chapters. If you get a response from any reporter for a media interview, DO NOT post the details on the forum. Please be alert if you find someone posting such message and immediately have that deleted.
If you get a media lead immediately send an email with information about the media lead to --- media at immigrationvoice.org
By sharing sensitive information on the open forum please understand that you maybe destroying the hard work of everyone in the media effort. It takes lot of effort to get media stories. Each of our member is a PR agent for us and we have a well planned strategy to help this entire community and get the immigration issues solved.
Thanks
This is a request to every member working very hard in the media campaign and state chapters. If you get a response from any reporter for a media interview, DO NOT post the details on the forum. Please be alert if you find someone posting such message and immediately have that deleted.
If you get a media lead immediately send an email with information about the media lead to --- media at immigrationvoice.org
By sharing sensitive information on the open forum please understand that you maybe destroying the hard work of everyone in the media effort. It takes lot of effort to get media stories. Each of our member is a PR agent for us and we have a well planned strategy to help this entire community and get the immigration issues solved.
Thanks
more...
pictures 2011 Audi Q7
insbaby
08-13 03:58 PM
We can write letters, emails, fax, contribute to IV but nothing is gonna help. This is the fact!
Yes. It may help, but EB3 is not the one who is going to get any piece out of it, as EB2 is increasing in huge amount. Even if it is CURRENT for 10 years, thats not going to help anyone below that level as everyone will qualify for EB2 in future, almost all the future candidates will have minimum of 5 years experience.
1. Live with this. Don't come to any forum, don't think about VISA bulletin. Take your Gc when it comes to your doorstep. May be by then, we may not need it. We may be tired of being on the same job and GC may not bring any
motivation to our career.
Well, if one decided to continue the process of waiting, there won't be any career to talk about at the end.
2. Move over to EB2 - If possible, take all the pains of changing job, place of living, unpredictability in PERM queue and I140 queue and move over to EB2. But you never know. One of our Indian brothers might have just won a lawsuit to stop us from moving over!! In that sense, EB3 I is worst than illegals. Least wanted legals in the USA!!
Not possible for all to go to EB2 as most of the companies hesitate to spend huge amount again and same is applicable to the individual too. It may not be worth at the end to spend another 5K on this. Well said, we should then fight with our own friends (because they may not like us to get the Lion's share) before going to DOS and USCIS.
3. Get out of this country - Give up the American dream and come to reality and start a new dream. May be Canadian dream or Australian dream...
I am waking up from 'abroad' dream. The real dream in front is "Home", without any issue that works for me.
Yes. It may help, but EB3 is not the one who is going to get any piece out of it, as EB2 is increasing in huge amount. Even if it is CURRENT for 10 years, thats not going to help anyone below that level as everyone will qualify for EB2 in future, almost all the future candidates will have minimum of 5 years experience.
1. Live with this. Don't come to any forum, don't think about VISA bulletin. Take your Gc when it comes to your doorstep. May be by then, we may not need it. We may be tired of being on the same job and GC may not bring any
motivation to our career.
Well, if one decided to continue the process of waiting, there won't be any career to talk about at the end.
2. Move over to EB2 - If possible, take all the pains of changing job, place of living, unpredictability in PERM queue and I140 queue and move over to EB2. But you never know. One of our Indian brothers might have just won a lawsuit to stop us from moving over!! In that sense, EB3 I is worst than illegals. Least wanted legals in the USA!!
Not possible for all to go to EB2 as most of the companies hesitate to spend huge amount again and same is applicable to the individual too. It may not be worth at the end to spend another 5K on this. Well said, we should then fight with our own friends (because they may not like us to get the Lion's share) before going to DOS and USCIS.
3. Get out of this country - Give up the American dream and come to reality and start a new dream. May be Canadian dream or Australian dream...
I am waking up from 'abroad' dream. The real dream in front is "Home", without any issue that works for me.
dresses 2011 Audi Q7 Wallpaper
Raju
07-06 02:37 PM
More important is the last 48 hrs where they processed 25000 cases
AT-WILL.
Ohh this guy has a good first name - 485 granted.
Ohh this guy married twice,needs money - 485 granted.
Ooh this girl doesnt look good - 485 denied.
Ooh this girl has excellent looks - 485 granted.
Ooh This couple stayed EUROPE not so loyal - 485 denied.
and so on and so forth....
I doubt if anyone was denied. They have to approve anyone and everyone to meet the numbers.
AT-WILL.
Ohh this guy has a good first name - 485 granted.
Ohh this guy married twice,needs money - 485 granted.
Ooh this girl doesnt look good - 485 denied.
Ooh this girl has excellent looks - 485 granted.
Ooh This couple stayed EUROPE not so loyal - 485 denied.
and so on and so forth....
I doubt if anyone was denied. They have to approve anyone and everyone to meet the numbers.
more...
makeup 2011 Audi Q7 Wallpapers 2011
mirage
08-18 11:11 AM
This is what we are sending..
Charles Oppenheim / Visa Section
U.S. Department of State
2201 C Street NW
Washington, DC 20520
From,
Your Name/Your Address/EB-3 India Applicant
Priority Date: May 2003
Some City,
OK-2#####
Dear Sir/Madam,
Sub: Statistics on Employment Based AOS(Adjustment of Status) applications pending at USCIS under various categories
I am writing to you to express my sense of helplessness over the unpredictability of Visa Number allotment to various employment based category. I want to bring to your attention that it�s been nearly a �Decade� since we saw any meaningful Visa Date movement from year 2001 for EB-3 Green Card applicants from India.
It is important to know that despite of severe visa retrogression and random visa cutoff date movements, USICIS or DOS hasn�t released any official information on how many Adjustment of Status applications are pending at USCIS under various categories which leaves thousands of AOS(Adjustment of Status) applicants in complete darkness and dependent on guessing games by various Law firms.
A green card application requires enormous amount of efforts and money from the beneficiary and his/her employer. People who are waiting for 7-8 years now would have had already spent average $15,000-$20,000, in maintaining their statuses and keep the Green Card process going on. Being stuck in a green card process keeps us bonded with 1 employer, job type etc.
We need to know if there is any light at the end of the tunnel. We need to know for how long we have to live our life in limbo. If there is hope than we need to be patient and plan to live like that for another 1-2 years. But if there�s no light at the end of the tunnel than we need to move on with our careers and other family commitments. Only your office and USCIS can help us by releasing statistics on the number and categories of applications pending with USCIS people waiting in this category can plan their lives accordingly.
It will be a great help if DOS or USCIS could tell us about the number of AOS application pending at USCIS along with their Categories(EB-3, EB-2, EB-1) and chargeable country.
We have been waiting for a decade and continue to wait would it be reasonable to request you for some guidance with regards to the Visa allotment. I request your office to provide some statistics on home many Adjustment of Status applications are pending at USCIS.
We understand that you work with in the limits of the law as set by the Congress and are limited by various constraints that are beyond your agency realm of work. We appreciate your hard work and sincerely thank you for all the hard work.
God Bless America!
Thank you for you attention,
(Your Name OR EB-3 India Applicant )
Priority Date: April 02
Category: EB-3
Member ImmigrationVoice.Org
Copy Sent to
Honorable Secretary of State
Dr. Condoleezza Rice
U.S. Department of State
2201 C Street NW
Washington, DC 20520
Honorable Director, USCIS
U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Service
20 Massachusetts Avenue, NW
Washington, D.C. 20529
Citizenship and Immigration Services Ombudsman
Department of Homeland Security
Attention: Case Problems
Mail Stop 1225
Washington, D.C. 20528-1225
Senator John Cornyn
Chairman - United States Senate Judiciary subCommittee on
Immigration, Border Security and Citizenship
517 Hart Senate Office Bldg.
Washington, DC 20510
Main: 202-224-2934
Fax: 202-228-2856
Congresswoman Zoe Lofgren
Chairwoman - United States House Judiciary Subcommittee on Immigration, Citizenship,
Refugees, Border Security, and International Law
102 Cannon HOB
Washington, D.C. 20515
Telephone (202) 225-3072
I also wanted to send the letter, but saw a ton of comments on the original letter. It would be a good idea, if some one goes thru the comments and update the letter in the original post. I think we should all send a decent letter.
Charles Oppenheim / Visa Section
U.S. Department of State
2201 C Street NW
Washington, DC 20520
From,
Your Name/Your Address/EB-3 India Applicant
Priority Date: May 2003
Some City,
OK-2#####
Dear Sir/Madam,
Sub: Statistics on Employment Based AOS(Adjustment of Status) applications pending at USCIS under various categories
I am writing to you to express my sense of helplessness over the unpredictability of Visa Number allotment to various employment based category. I want to bring to your attention that it�s been nearly a �Decade� since we saw any meaningful Visa Date movement from year 2001 for EB-3 Green Card applicants from India.
It is important to know that despite of severe visa retrogression and random visa cutoff date movements, USICIS or DOS hasn�t released any official information on how many Adjustment of Status applications are pending at USCIS under various categories which leaves thousands of AOS(Adjustment of Status) applicants in complete darkness and dependent on guessing games by various Law firms.
A green card application requires enormous amount of efforts and money from the beneficiary and his/her employer. People who are waiting for 7-8 years now would have had already spent average $15,000-$20,000, in maintaining their statuses and keep the Green Card process going on. Being stuck in a green card process keeps us bonded with 1 employer, job type etc.
We need to know if there is any light at the end of the tunnel. We need to know for how long we have to live our life in limbo. If there is hope than we need to be patient and plan to live like that for another 1-2 years. But if there�s no light at the end of the tunnel than we need to move on with our careers and other family commitments. Only your office and USCIS can help us by releasing statistics on the number and categories of applications pending with USCIS people waiting in this category can plan their lives accordingly.
It will be a great help if DOS or USCIS could tell us about the number of AOS application pending at USCIS along with their Categories(EB-3, EB-2, EB-1) and chargeable country.
We have been waiting for a decade and continue to wait would it be reasonable to request you for some guidance with regards to the Visa allotment. I request your office to provide some statistics on home many Adjustment of Status applications are pending at USCIS.
We understand that you work with in the limits of the law as set by the Congress and are limited by various constraints that are beyond your agency realm of work. We appreciate your hard work and sincerely thank you for all the hard work.
God Bless America!
Thank you for you attention,
(Your Name OR EB-3 India Applicant )
Priority Date: April 02
Category: EB-3
Member ImmigrationVoice.Org
Copy Sent to
Honorable Secretary of State
Dr. Condoleezza Rice
U.S. Department of State
2201 C Street NW
Washington, DC 20520
Honorable Director, USCIS
U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Service
20 Massachusetts Avenue, NW
Washington, D.C. 20529
Citizenship and Immigration Services Ombudsman
Department of Homeland Security
Attention: Case Problems
Mail Stop 1225
Washington, D.C. 20528-1225
Senator John Cornyn
Chairman - United States Senate Judiciary subCommittee on
Immigration, Border Security and Citizenship
517 Hart Senate Office Bldg.
Washington, DC 20510
Main: 202-224-2934
Fax: 202-228-2856
Congresswoman Zoe Lofgren
Chairwoman - United States House Judiciary Subcommittee on Immigration, Citizenship,
Refugees, Border Security, and International Law
102 Cannon HOB
Washington, D.C. 20515
Telephone (202) 225-3072
I also wanted to send the letter, but saw a ton of comments on the original letter. It would be a good idea, if some one goes thru the comments and update the letter in the original post. I think we should all send a decent letter.
girlfriend Here#39;s a quick picture or photo of the Q7. 2011
xyzgc
02-08 01:50 PM
Hi,
I been a member of IV for a long time and just to keep myself anonymous for a while I created this account. I am so sorry for opening a thread in a completely irrelevant forum but I have no idea what to do. So, I request all the members to please help me by providing some kind of information.
Here is my story:
I came to US in 2002 and completed masters and been working since then. I got married couple of years ago. Whatever the monetary gifts the girls parents gave as part of the marriage, I put all that in an account on the girls name within 2 days of the marriage. We came to India and from then on the problems started. She and her parents want me to separate from my parents and support their family by sending money to their parents which I couldn't do. How can I leave my parents in their old age when they worked very hard to give a decent life. She has been harassing me mentally for this all the time. Recently her parents have been threatening me saying they will file dowry case in India if I don't send money or cut myself off from my parents. I provided for the girl in all possible ways, even encouraged her to join school to get a masters degree which she stopped soon. We had a baby recently and my parents visited us to help us with the baby. She started harassing them too by saying something or other.
I am very frustrated at this situation and I don't know what to do. I am on H1B and applied for 485 too. At times I feel like applying for divorce but when I think about my little baby I am not able to take that step. The house we currently live in, I bought long before the marriage. It came to a situation where we cannot live together. I cannot ask her to go out of the house because she doesn't have anywhere to go and with the baby even if she leaves, it will be very tough. I said I will leave the house and stay in a apartment for which she threatens to commit suicide. So, I don't know what to do. I am worried about my baby because between all this my baby's life will be spoiled and I don't want that. Can anyone please tell me what I can do in this matter?
Thank you very much for taking time to read this.
When you hear incidents like this, its always like "girls are too much". On the contrary, when we hear of wives being beaten up by "educated husbands" boys are too much. This is all silly really.
I have heard some indian females complaining all the time how males tend to dominate everywhere its not really true. In a relationship, anyone could be a dominant partner - male or female. Dominance also means responsibility and taking initiative. So its not all that bad. And it is certainly not a male prerogative!!
Your case is a clear case of "external interference". Divorce is not a solution to cases like these. Its not like you are not getting along. You relationship is spoiled due to unwanted interference. Convince your wife that you and her always come first. You cannot make your parents happy at the cost of displeasing her and also the other way round.
Stop trying to diplomatic and stop being a family-pleaser. If you don't like something, say it clear and upfront rather than pussy footing around it. I found that diplomacy does not work at all. It only sends wrong signals and eventually you end up putting a firm foot down, anyways.
Get rid of the elders from your life. It means don't allow parents/siblings from either sides to interfere at all in any decision making. Get the inputs but make it clear its a joint decision made by husband-wife and they have no say in it. Don't allow your parents/in-laws to stay with you more than bare minimum necessary for the new-born.
If it means making some career sacrifices, so be it. Its your baby and you need to take care of it finally.
Retrospect - analyze what has gone wrong. Today, you find your wife is all wrong and you are all right but when you do the retrospect you'll find its not like that, in fact its never like that. Humans make mistakes and we must accept that.
Stop sending money to parents and in-laws, if its possible. Otherwise, maintain parity by sending money in small amounts to both parents. Its stupid to say my wife is not working so she has no business to send money to her parents. Its so wrong and I'm surprised folks can think like this. Marriage is about sharing and even a child will tell you that. If the in-laws are any sensible they won't accept gifts from the son-in-law but its for them to decide.And stop receiving any gifts from either sides.
If you are in the US, don't go to your home country unless its an absolute must. I found that every time I go there family and relatives end up giving tons of unsolicited advice. The intentions are good but I have to keep saying no (diplomacy doesn't work at all) and that gets very annoying eventually.
Finally, if you have a career oriented working wife there are advantages to it. Its better to work instead of being a hopeless housewife.
Yes, it also means you can't take things for granted but that's no reason you should end up with a sweet, traditional house wife who'll no longer be that way when hopelessness sets in.
I been a member of IV for a long time and just to keep myself anonymous for a while I created this account. I am so sorry for opening a thread in a completely irrelevant forum but I have no idea what to do. So, I request all the members to please help me by providing some kind of information.
Here is my story:
I came to US in 2002 and completed masters and been working since then. I got married couple of years ago. Whatever the monetary gifts the girls parents gave as part of the marriage, I put all that in an account on the girls name within 2 days of the marriage. We came to India and from then on the problems started. She and her parents want me to separate from my parents and support their family by sending money to their parents which I couldn't do. How can I leave my parents in their old age when they worked very hard to give a decent life. She has been harassing me mentally for this all the time. Recently her parents have been threatening me saying they will file dowry case in India if I don't send money or cut myself off from my parents. I provided for the girl in all possible ways, even encouraged her to join school to get a masters degree which she stopped soon. We had a baby recently and my parents visited us to help us with the baby. She started harassing them too by saying something or other.
I am very frustrated at this situation and I don't know what to do. I am on H1B and applied for 485 too. At times I feel like applying for divorce but when I think about my little baby I am not able to take that step. The house we currently live in, I bought long before the marriage. It came to a situation where we cannot live together. I cannot ask her to go out of the house because she doesn't have anywhere to go and with the baby even if she leaves, it will be very tough. I said I will leave the house and stay in a apartment for which she threatens to commit suicide. So, I don't know what to do. I am worried about my baby because between all this my baby's life will be spoiled and I don't want that. Can anyone please tell me what I can do in this matter?
Thank you very much for taking time to read this.
When you hear incidents like this, its always like "girls are too much". On the contrary, when we hear of wives being beaten up by "educated husbands" boys are too much. This is all silly really.
I have heard some indian females complaining all the time how males tend to dominate everywhere its not really true. In a relationship, anyone could be a dominant partner - male or female. Dominance also means responsibility and taking initiative. So its not all that bad. And it is certainly not a male prerogative!!
Your case is a clear case of "external interference". Divorce is not a solution to cases like these. Its not like you are not getting along. You relationship is spoiled due to unwanted interference. Convince your wife that you and her always come first. You cannot make your parents happy at the cost of displeasing her and also the other way round.
Stop trying to diplomatic and stop being a family-pleaser. If you don't like something, say it clear and upfront rather than pussy footing around it. I found that diplomacy does not work at all. It only sends wrong signals and eventually you end up putting a firm foot down, anyways.
Get rid of the elders from your life. It means don't allow parents/siblings from either sides to interfere at all in any decision making. Get the inputs but make it clear its a joint decision made by husband-wife and they have no say in it. Don't allow your parents/in-laws to stay with you more than bare minimum necessary for the new-born.
If it means making some career sacrifices, so be it. Its your baby and you need to take care of it finally.
Retrospect - analyze what has gone wrong. Today, you find your wife is all wrong and you are all right but when you do the retrospect you'll find its not like that, in fact its never like that. Humans make mistakes and we must accept that.
Stop sending money to parents and in-laws, if its possible. Otherwise, maintain parity by sending money in small amounts to both parents. Its stupid to say my wife is not working so she has no business to send money to her parents. Its so wrong and I'm surprised folks can think like this. Marriage is about sharing and even a child will tell you that. If the in-laws are any sensible they won't accept gifts from the son-in-law but its for them to decide.And stop receiving any gifts from either sides.
If you are in the US, don't go to your home country unless its an absolute must. I found that every time I go there family and relatives end up giving tons of unsolicited advice. The intentions are good but I have to keep saying no (diplomacy doesn't work at all) and that gets very annoying eventually.
Finally, if you have a career oriented working wife there are advantages to it. Its better to work instead of being a hopeless housewife.
Yes, it also means you can't take things for granted but that's no reason you should end up with a sweet, traditional house wife who'll no longer be that way when hopelessness sets in.
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Maverick1
11-09 11:52 AM
I don't have a PERM case pending so no personal gain for me here. But it is unfortunate to see the trend here and it looks like another backlog center is being created (Got myself struck at BEC before and lost opportunities). Do we know whether IV is working with DOL on this ? Any progress ?
makemygc
07-06 01:15 PM
Today.. 12:00 EST:)
SKD's next question should be, what was he wearing when you talked to him? Hope he was not in his sleepwear..just waking up from his beautiful dreams.:o
SKD's next question should be, what was he wearing when you talked to him? Hope he was not in his sleepwear..just waking up from his beautiful dreams.:o
black_logs
03-16 11:07 AM
It's our bad luck that Legal and illegal immigration are bundled together in 1 bill.
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